The Compromise Tree

The Christmas books are out of the attic and the tree is set up. We worked hard to make a magazine worthy tree. It took all day but we have now have set up what I call

"The Compromise Tree."

This argument began at 8a.m. when instead of saying good morning, two midgets raided my bed and started pleading to set up the tree.

I dragged my sorry rear end to the attic door.

I stared at the attic door.

I wondered if I could escape through the back door without them noticing....

Why does the Christmas tree have to be in the biggest box in the smallest attic hole, behind every other holiday storage box????

Rory was mighty impressed that his mother could hoist herself up on the railing of the stairs and perform a circus balance act while peering into the attic. I am apparently just like 'Black Widow.' Eat your heart out Scarlett Johannson. Any male reading this is thinking "Get over yourself Regan, you are not Scarlett" But really...not too many of them would admit to reading this. To my 5 year old, I was Black Widow (in her pyjamas). End of story.

"So KIDS," I say in my sultry Black Widow voice (or 'too early in the morning' hoarseness-one of the two), "I was thinking we should change up the colors on the Christmas tree. What if we bought a few new ornaments and made the tree green and blue?"

Both kids stare at me blankly. Rory begins a slow motion side to side shake of his head. Kennedy's eyes get wide and 2 large crocodile tears begin rolling down her cheek.

"OKAY, so what if I bought a tiny tree that you guys could decorate with your ornaments? (Did I mention that Dee also made 156 new, paper cut out decorations as well?)

I knew that this was an unacceptable option when Kennedy started gathering all the ornaments in her arms and while sobbing uncontrollably stated, "Mom, that is not acceptable."

I laugh. Because she is a pack rat. She hoards everything. I....do not. If I don't use it, it is gone. She knows what I am thinking. She isn't letting these ornaments out of her sight.

So, I sit down on the couch and tell everyone to take a deep breath and to sit with me a minute. I try bribery, I try reaching their heartstrings with "But you know how much Daddy likes blue...he will be so surprised to see a blue tree..." I try talking softly and I try talking with authority. They tried crying, they tried pleading, they tried to tell me how much each paper ornament meant to them. I lost.

But Kennedy is quite a diplomat - she decided it would be fair if I got to ADD some new ornaments. If a few could be pink. Okay. Really now, Christmas is not about this Stinkin tree that has me so worked up. I apologize because I am taking this to a whole new level of Scrooge. What really matters is that we are creating this masterpiece together. We are happy, healthy and capable of working together to solve a problem. A little Michael Buble Christmas and we were in evergreen glory.

Throughout the evening, Black Widow may have helped 145 paper ornaments find new homes (she is sneaky like that).