Hockey Mom Survival Kit

1. Positive Peers: You need to surround yourself with morning people. The kind that greet you with bright eyes even before they have had coffee and say things like "What a beautiful sunrise!" as you glue your sleepy, time changed rear to the cold cement seat.... come to think of it...I am pretty sure I need to sit beside some different moms...or bring coffee. (No worries, I am only speaking of my dearest of friends who pre-approved this comment and have threatened to smack me if I keep greeting them in such ways).

2. Kleenex: The rink is cold. You will sniffle. You will cry with joy. You will laugh until you cry, You will be smacked for being too much of a morning person and need to soak up the blood from your bleeding nose. You WILL sit beside Moms who need Kleenex and expect that if you are writing a blog post about needing it, that you are obviously now the team supplier of said product.

3. Warm Clothes: I know you are thinking that this seems logical but you would be AMAZED at how cold some people were at our first two hockey games. I mean, they could communicate and move about freely, but a prepared hockey Mom has tights, lulus, sweatpants, socks, more socks, a heating pad, 3 shirts, a jacket, scarf, toque, mitts (the kind that can text the score to anyone and everyone who likely doesn't care to know it), baked potatoes in their pockets, and likely a heated quilt from their trunk.

4. Mitts: Now this must be a category all on its own. The chosen mittens must be properly tested. If, while wearing these mittens you cannot be heard while you are clapping, then there is no point to wearing them. Freeze your fingers. If you can find mittens that are a) warm, b) texting capable, and c) loud enough to be heard when you clap...then you have won the hockey mom jackpot.

5. Coins and small bills: Hockey clubs help keep costs down by doing 50-50 raffles at every game. Don't be a downer. Support the rink. Buy some 50-50. These kids are making life long friends, learning something new, and are being physically active. They love their skates. Bring your coins.

6. No, you do not need a cow bell.

7. Camera: Your scrapbooks will not be the same without 50 kazillion blurry streaks on what appears to be a hockey ice surface. A selfie a game is always acceptable. The facebook world eagerly awaits ANOTHER smiling picture of your darling Sidney Crosby as he prepares to go on the ice. True story.

8. A Thesaurus: There are many ways to creatively cheer. One does not need to linger on "GET AFTER IT." If you have a thesaurus, you can be the malarkiest, modern hockey mom around. You can also find a better word than 'malarkiest.' Behold the arena crowd and your son or daughter beam with delight as you scream out, "AQUIRE THE EBONY DISC!" or, "SHIFT HASTILY DOWN THE ICE!" Most importantly: Keep it positive. These are your beautiful, intelligent children. I know they are all going to the NHL, and they will appreciate your smile and encouragement en route there.

9. Gum: A polite diversion for anyone in the crowd who needs a reminder to keep it positive. Jawbreakers might be very fun. The VOLUNTEERS that coach and the REFS who are doing their best to please everyone...deserve NOTHING other than our constant thanks. Daily. Maybe even every minute of every day. Even then, the thanks is not enough.

10. Google: For when your seven year old is explaining off side and you don't know what they are talking about.

Happy Hockey Season! For those that celebrate the momentous start of the season, I bid you good luck and many wonderful rink memories. For those that don't, and don't understand why we do...I hope you at least enjoy a laugh as we roll out of bed early on a Saturday while you sleep in. Better yet...come enjoy some laughs with some great Moms and Dads. www.centralplainshockey.com
I highly recommend the Novice Mustangs. Bring your loud mitts and your heartiest smiles and cheers (unless it is early morning...in which case...just bring coffee).