The Day I had to Explain Death to my 5 Year Old

Nothing can ever prepare you for the death of a friend, a teacher, a Mom, and a Winnipeg Bombers fan.

Nothing.

But over the last few days, my son and I are coming to terms with the harsh realities of life: the fact that we all die, and that we have no control over when or how.

I remember Subway lunches and her amazing smile. I remember the way she spoke about her sons and how she cringed when I teased her that I would send Rory to school in a Saskatchewan Rough Riders jersey for Halloween. She told me THAT would be the scariest costume she had ever seen.

And I feel so guilty that my son has his Mom to hug him goodnight. Her sons do not have their Mom anymore and I just don't understand how this is fair.

I remember her going to Vegas and teasing me about it mercilessly while I stayed behind to man her classroom. I am so glad she took that trip.

I remember her plans to make a Kindergarten blog.

I remember her support and encouragement while I was her student teacher and then playing along with my antics when I came back to be the Grade One student teacher.

I remember Rory coming home on the day he had brought her his "Hulk" gingerbread boy saying that Mrs.H had laughed a lot...but had thought it was Frankenstein.

I will miss the daily letters that she sent home with the kids about what they did at school that day... it was always the first thing I dug into Rory's or Kennedy's bag for.

I was so happy when she phoned me at home one day just because she wanted to touch base about Rory's headaches and together we made a plan for what we could do to help him if he got one in class.

Kennedy has one of the best memories: She wrote a letter to her current teacher saying that the teacher was the best. When she came back after Christmas holidays, Mrs. H had added to the whiteboard message "Hey, I thought I was the best teacher ever!" Kennedy still giggles about this.

A professor of mine told me about a book she has that I am going to share with Rory. The book states that there are many different ways celebrate life and to cope with our emotions. This blog is how I am dealing with my emotions. This is going to be a tough journey ahead but I hope that with time we will gain understanding and peace of mind. The AES and MES Kindergarten classrooms are never going to be the same. It makes me so terribly sad to think that I won't have a Kindergarten Grad pic of her and Rory like the one I have above. Thank you for your gifts and talents while you were with us K, we miss you terribly.

The Busiest Busy Person Who Hasn't Won the Busy Award.

Is there an award for being the busiest person in the world?

I think I am the busiest person in the world.

I am SO busy. So very busy. Probably busier than you. And you. AND it is likely going to get me places. BIG places.

No, you think you are busier than me, but you are not.

Neither are you.

Aren't you sitting there running through your head the many MANY busiest sorts of busy work that you do and are you not comparing it to mine and thinking...I am busier than her but I am not going to say that to her because it makes me look more important?

!?!??

I am so proud to say that I am so very busy being busy that I am not even worried about your busy 'ness' being busier than mine.

Going skating, painting a picture of something beautiful with Kennedy, reading together, doing puzzles, LAUGHING with friends, playing cards with my parents, taking time to chat with friends who mean the world to me, cuddling with Steve every night, and fitting in the odd "chopping Rory's corn silage" on his bedroom floor, makes me the busiest person. Hands down. I am so VERY busy trying to invest in my children's future... teaching them what IS really important in life.

If I win the award for busy 'est' person...maybe it will stop some of you from competing for it.

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." Lily Tomlin

(and I don't know who Lily Tomlin is, and I DO advocate for hard work - just that I work to live...not the other way around).

The Fine Art of Procrastination

I always find that I get the MOST done when I am trying to avoid one little task.

Tasks I try whole-heartedly to avoid:
- taxes
- organizing our tax files
- finding all the stuff necessary for our taxes
- getting out the Christmas tree

For today's purposes though, let's just say that I did not have to worry about getting the tree out.

In the process of organizing our tax files for 2012 I entered every room and became distracted by every little job I have had lined up for the previous century:

I...
..found my closet!
..ran a short errand up the hill.
..decided to make stew, realized it would be better done in the slow cooker and put all the ingredients back in the fridge for tomorrow since I didn't have that much time.
..pinterest.
..made my bed.
..took down the Christmas tree.
..gathered clothes for the MCC.
..window shopped on IKEA
..played "Sorry" with the kids.
..built a lego "Captain America"
..bathed the stinky boy.
..thought about painting my toes.
..cleaned the tub.
...started cleaning our shower...oops...just realized i wasn't actually finished that job.

Sigh.

Tomorrow I KNOW I will get to those taxes...or Rodger's Hill...one of the two.